The final copies are still warm from the printer: "I just got my second reader to sign off on my dissertation and then I printed the final copies on the very special paper. I made an appointment with the Keeper of Papers to turn it all in at 3pm. I am almost done with It forever.

I'm not sure yet how I feel about being phinished. I can tell you I've been laughing and smiling a lot more over the last week and a half. But the dissertation has been the organizing principle of my life for so long, I'm not sure what I'll do without it. Even when I was fiercely avoiding working on my dissertation it was still the focus of my life.

Someone asked me the other day what I like to do when I'm not working. I didn't know the answer. I lost myself to the dissertation somewhere along the way and I had to pass through a a long tunnel of darkness. Now that I'm back in the light, I wonder if I'm still all here.

But, yes, I feel complete. I feel whole. I feel wonderful, actually. And I'm excited to start to relearn what I like to do and who I want to be."