Daily Herald Suburban Living Section: "So that's it, right? All this freaking out over fatness, as I had suspected, was some fashion-industry conspiracy to make larger people feel bad because they aren't lucky enough to have thin genes and a magic metabolism like me.

I was lovin' it once again.

Then the blood work came in.

My cholesterol shot up from a 'normal' 181 to a 'borderline high' 201. And my 'bad' cholesterol shot up from 102 to 116. At 130, doctors start thinking about 'treatment.'

Keep in mind, this happened during a period where I was burning more calories than I was eating.

'It's pretty startling to see the rapidity with which your cholesterol increased,' the doc said. 'It just goes to show you that McDonald's is so high in saturated fats, within two weeks, you overwhelmed those mechanisms that your body uses to keep cholesterol in check.'"