McSweeney's Internet Tendency: PHILIP COLAVITO, MOB ACCOUNTANT: "The guys like to give me a hard time on account of how I am not Mr. Tough Guy running around in a fancy car and breaking somebody's kneecaps but when it's payroll time all of the sudden I'm the most popular guy in the joint. The thing that makes me particularly irritated is that they will offer to whack a guy for nothing but if you ask them to hold on to their receipts it is like you want them to cut off a finger or something. What is the big deal? It is just a receipt. But try talking to some people."